the roses entwining her heart.

Chinese.

2011-11-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'm here cause I'm bored and can't really be bothered with Chinese. I don't even know why I chose to retake it. Insane.

"I hope you'll find your own way, when I'm not with you, tonight."

We miss you so much, Jimmy.
R.I.P. Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan

fandom

2011-11-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

This is probably several years too late, but i'm beginning to have a MAJOR A7X fandom. Just madness, facebook tumblr revolvermag twitter youtube etc. I admit, after watching all those clips of the Rev and the band, and all those tribute videos and letters, I cried. It's 2 years late, but I was genuinely devasted that the Rev was dead. It's astonishing to me because I never knew him personally. I knew him from videos and clips and photos. But yet the grief I felt, especially after watching 'So Far Away', well, it's new. It's quite surprisng. But the fact is The Rev was a great drummer and musician who touched me personally with his music, lyrics and stories. He IS a special person, and I will remember him. He's too special to forget.

oh, this is a little late, but THANK YOU to the awesomness that is mike portnoy, and also to the new blood, arin ilesjay.WELCOME TO THE FAMILY :D

"Jimmy jumped into life and never touched bottom."

RIP The Rev, I hope that 28 december will be an epic day for you in heaven, seeing how we a7x fans have sooooooo much planned to make sure you are never forgotten, neither you or your music, or your awesome bandmates.

Johnny is cute, m.shadows is freakin' hot, synyster is so freakin' badass, and Zacky is just bloody freakin' awesome.

"You can't spell bass without ass."

ignorance is bliss until you're the one being ignored.

2011-10-06T17:33:00.000+08:00

I hate this. I really hate this feeling.

Doubt, insecurity, resentment, fear.

It's like I mean nothing to you. Just another insignificant figure roaming the corridors.

I can't take this.

You don't even make eye contact with me, let alone speak to me. Do I really mean that little to you?

I don't want this; I can't take this anymore.

Just end it all.

no more

2011-08-28T11:39:00.000+08:00

Once again you make me feel disposable.

I hate this, I really hate this feeling.

I don't want to do this anymore

Your depature is a new beginning

No more wanting what I can't have, what you refused to give me.
No more dancing around each other, speaking as strangers do.
No more paranoia, perceptions and assumptions.

No more.

2011-08-10T10:18:00.000+08:00

you said that no one understands and you've had enough
what about me?
I'm not just your "cute" junior you can chat with
I'm also a friend willing to listen

If you give me a chance.

It's hard to see you like this. You're human and you aren't perfect, I know.
I am not either.

So why can't you face me? Vulnerability is not weakness.

Just so you know,
Whether you like it or not,
I'm here.

over again

2011-07-05T22:29:00.003+08:00

The look on their faces when they heard those words,
just take me back to that day, that day when our hopes and dreams were crushed too.
it's pain, all over again.

I LOVE PHYSICS.

2011-07-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

Of course I don't, are you nuts? Paper2 made be burst into hysterical laughter because I knew how dead I was. Sigh. Oh well..
On another note, amaths and chem paper 2(s) tomorrow. Last two big papers of prelim one. Nervous.
dpa starting soon, really hope I get accepted. Would be nice to have a safety net if anything, god forbid, goes wrong in my olevels.
mr peh is leaving for canada soon, depressing. 4e1 wishes you the best! Have fun and good luck!(:

okay going to mug now. Byeeeeee.

down

2011-06-01T19:11:00.000+08:00

Little
scrunched up
insecurities
Like the buzz of bees
voices
guilty, guilty consciousness!

You deserve
every little thing you feel
Little wretched creature
abandoned
Squirm
worry
roll up

Die.

remember me

2011-05-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

some days
i'm not
even sure anymore.
about you, about myself, about us.
where do we stand?
why, out of the blue, did you ask me?
desperation? care? genuine friendship?
i don't want to doubt you, or myself.
but i'm just not sure anymore.
now all i ask you,
will you,
remember me?

"No I won't, let you, close enough to hurt me no,
I won't rescue, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye,
To turning tables."

bitterness

2011-04-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

Guzheng got a gold! Congratualations, gals! You guys worked damn hard, and definetely deserve it (:
On another note, it just brings back the bitterness. The 'that could've been us' kind of feeling. But my friends are right, I should just let it go. I just wish it is as easy to do as it is to say it aloud.

School has been alright, homework and stuff. Saw the class photos, which were awesome. Oxyviva 4E1! Also caught a glimpse of the zwinds sec 4 informal photo. It was awesome! Seeing those smiling faces and our beloved instruments, the score for 'memories of friendship', the baton, etc.... The love for zwinds just rises up again. I love that batch of zwinds members has that kind of bond, the one other ccas seem to long for. Zwinds<3

Oh, and before I go, JUSTIN BIEBER THANKS FOR VISITING BUT NOW, PLEASE, JUST GET THE HELL OUT!
Thanks, biebs.

aftermath

2011-04-17T19:42:00.000+08:00

It's been a while now. Almost two weeks since that day. Still suffering a little from post-silver syndrome. It's hard not to be bitter. After all that crap, and just another medal that people will see and automatically label us as "average" band, which we bloody hell are not. Life's life, what is a girl like me to do?

Stepping down and leaving the band is hard, too. Just went back yesterday to take sectionals, and it was hard, but I loved every moment of it. The yelling, shouting, admonishing, laughing, spazzing, everything. Sure, I'm harsh on them, but they know why. It's only to push them to their absolute best. While the section is still struggling a little, I see the potential, I know they can pull through. I'm going to push them, especially the year-2s, to their limit. Jasrine and Chae Eun are both very, very quiet, but once Weiyun and I are through with them, they'll be strong and confident players, which is exactly what we need. Daniel wasn't present, which was a little disappointing. Aisyah was okay, she just needs to push a little more. Winnifred, by far, has the most potential. In my opinion, anyway.

I feel rather upset that the year-3s won't be the ones leading Zwinds to the next SYF, because I feel that they are strong, stronger than they think. We may have had our differences, but they really are strong players, and strong leaders. I love every single one of my year-3 juniors in the clarinet section, especially my beloved 3rd clarinets, Weiyun and Weemeng. Charyl, too. And yes, I'm flawed, and I'm biased, but it's hard not to be. Being in 3rd clarinet with Weiyun and Weemeng really made me the player I am today. Being in 3rd clarinet certainly forced me to be louder, to work harder, and it made me step up and salvage the 3rd clarinets, who then, knew almost nothing about the music. It was hard, as I, too, was unfamiliar with the score, unfamiliar with the role the 3rd clarinets played in the balance of the sound. The three of us, in our time together, built a strong backbone for the clarinet section, and I am extremely proud of Weemeng and Weiyun for the players and the leaders they have become today, in their own right. I admit, I miss the moments with Weemeng and Weiyun while we three were in third clarinet together. We had our fair share of laughter and tears. I truly miss my section, miss Zwinds.

And now that band is over, I feel like I'm an addict going through withdrawal. (So I'm dramatic, sue me.) However the prospect of an alumni band excites me, and truth be told, that's my real goal. Studies are important, sure, but my passion for music, for the arts has equal importance too. At least in my books, it does. I'm pretty sure Ngee Ann's diploma in arts and business management is the way to go for me. I's a risk, but what's life without risk. Besides, it excites me, and that is definetely motivation to pursue my passion for performing arts. Honestly, it's the route I want to take. I want to be a part of expanding the arts scene in Singapore, to get people to open their eyes and tear their eyes away from their taxes and books and studies to see that there is more that just academics in life. Arts can be a viable option for a career too.It's what I believe in, and one day it will happen.

School has been okay so far, trying to get homework under control. Many things of my plate now, NAPFA (disgusting), prelims, tests, motivational camp and so on and so forth. Madness, honestly. A rather long post today, just had to get things off my mind.

GOOD LUCK ZHSS GUZHENG! GO GET THAT GOLD!

P.S. I LOVE YOU GWYYZZZ, YOU NOOOB. GO GET THAT GOLD! (:

five more days.

2011-04-01T23:12:00.000+08:00

Five days left.
Five precious, priceless days.
I don't wanna leave.

No one understands how much zwinds means to me. No one. It's not just the music, not just my seniors, juniors, friends, whatever. It's more than that. So much that I can't put into words.

And it's not suppose to end this way. I had always envisioned how we would step down, how our journey with zwinds (cheesy, but appropriate) would come to a close. Maybe it's my fault, for assuming that everything would fall perfectly in place. Some things just happen. Sometimes we have no control. But I can't take it. I've put in so much, and so have they. All that drama, only for it to end like this? No. It's not fair. People will say, "life's unfair." but I hate it. The one thing I love the most, the people whom i've come to know and love, they mean a lot to me. And I hate, absolutely loathe the fact that it most likely will end like this. No no no. Why? Why why why? Why us?

It's more than just competition, it's more than your career.

We may get the result, but it won't be the way we want it. I'll be happy, but the sharp pain and the want to cry will always be there. Why can't this one thing just be perfect?

I just, want things to be the way they were before.

thinking thinking thinking

2011-03-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Had some interesting revelations today. Found out about a few people's sexual orientation (hurray for awkward words).
Quite interesting, but not totally unexpected. But I'm cool with it. And I personally feel that i'll defend anybody who dares attack anyone who is gay, les or bisexual, or a cross dresser, whatever. No matter if it's a close friend or just an aquaintance. I can't stand people being attacked for who they are. Yes, society nowadays are more tolerant, but there are just some ignorant fools out there who still use the words 'fag' or 'queer'. Those kind of people just light me up and I just want to slash them with vicious words and make them cry. Sadistic, maybe, but I think it's appropriate. Don't attack others for who they are just because you are to weak and selfish to deal with it.

Also, I don't think guys fully understand the impact of the words they use sometimes. They say like, 'you fag' or, 'you're a gay asshole' or crap like that. Sometimes I do too, stupidly without thinking. But on someone who are struggling with who they are and their orientation, things like that can really affect a person. No guys appreciates being called gay, fag, queer, pussy etc. (sorry marcus tan :/) I guess what i'm trying to say is that I wish people would be more open-minded. There is no discrimination in love. Whatever the colour of your skin, no matter what your orientation is, you should be free to love, free to be who you are.

Personally, i'm pretty sure i'm into guys, but i'm not completely sure. There are some girls who are such great people it's hard not to like them, more than in a platonic sense. I kinda want to be open about this cause I feel that while we may be young, it's better to start discussing it now, when we're young than wait and allow discrimination to take place just because we're ignorant and don't dare to speak about the topic because we're all scared. I think it's better to be more open now, so that our generation can overcome barriers and be more tolerant and understanding.

Quite a heavy topic today. Hmm. At least I got it off my chest and can sleep now:)

"Baby, you were born this way!"

revelations

2011-03-13T23:48:00.000+08:00

Adults are just kids, but bigger, and better liars.
All his recent posts are so unhappy, so 'emo' as they say, so .... Much like a teen.
sometimes I wish 'adults' would remember that being a teen ain't so easy. And yeah sometimes we can be selfish, but why can't you let it slide at times? Not long before you were us. You were the generation the 'grown-ups' hated. Some adults just need to grow up.

anyway, on to less depressing matters.
band exchange with SembWinds and SwissWinds yesterday. Quite awesome and fun. The swiss clarinets were kind enough to treat us to a few drinks:) nice people, really good players. Weekend in new york kicked arse.

But what I loved most was how much I LOVED ZWINDS. I STILL LOVE ZWINDS. I LOVE ZWINDS. TEEHEE.

But seriously, I do. Days like yesterday reminded me why I was so dedicated to the point of obsession. It's was a feeling you could not buy, and hard to recreate. It's that feeling we chase after so much, all our lives. Days like yesterday were priceless.

and can I just say, i'll soooooooooooooo miss my section when I graduate :(
I may be tough on them, but only because I know they can go further, with the proper push and encouragement. It'll be hard having my wednesdays, fridays and saturdays free after the 6th. :/

I PROMISE TO TREASURE EVERY MINUTE I HAVE LEFT WITH ZWINDS!!!

<3<3<3<3<3

No.

2011-02-25T21:50:00.001+08:00

And yet again.
I feel so far from you.
So distant.
Age gap aside.
I feel like there was a barrier between us today.
Or maybe it's just me being emotional and paranoid.
Maybe it was because of him.
I don't know.
I just don't know how to be comfortable around you anymore, there are so many things I can't say.
Sometimes I have to hold my tongue.
Sometimes I act.
Sometimes I don't know who I am.

Sometimes I'm lost.

Sometimes I let my feelings out on you, sometimes I ramble.
Yet you always listened patiently, always so understanding.

Today I could barely get a response out of you.
And did I mention how disappointing band practice was today? Did I mention how I felt worthless today? Did I tell you how I just can't stand all the crap people have been giving me this past week?

I just hope tomorrow's not as bad.

Sometimes you just don't get it. It's all fun and games to you, but have you given a crap about how I feel? It's not funny when you say it in front of a teacher. And I sure as hell don't appreciate being called a flirt when I'm being stereotyped as the fat girl. It's easy for you, cause at the moment at least 2 guys have feelings for you. Spare a thought, will you, for once. Try it, it won't kill you.

another week gone by...

2011-02-19T21:05:00.001+08:00

Time sure flies.
Mid-Feb.
SYF in april.
6 weeks.
WOAH.
I really hope we are one of the first bands to perform. It'll be awesome.
And honestly, at this point, I really want that GOLD so baddd.
I mean, our batch is really lucky. School's 100th year anniversary, SYF, overseas motivational camp...
All in our graduating year.
No matter what we might say, we are really lucky. Sure as hell we are under pressure, but it's also a really exciting and incredible year. Despite all the tests, homework etc, I feel really blessed and lucky right now.

Band was okay today, I admit, we did not perform as well as we should have, but still, we worked hard. Sometimes, I really worry about weiyun. I mean, her sound and whatever are up to standard, but she has very little faith in herself, and sometimdes she worries do much that she loses her sound. She's the future leader of the band, she'll be the one the members look to in times of need, or when the band is not doing so well. She'll be the one encouraging and comforting, and making decisions that's best for the band. But she worries wayyyy to much. She frowns so much nowadays that she'll probably have wrinkles by the end of the year if she doesn't stop. I miss thw weiyun I first knew. Enthusiastic and hyper and crazily awesome. She's less than half the person she was. But I believe in her. I know she'll do well eventually. She just needs to adjust. All the sec4s know how hard sec 3 life can be. She's a tough one, she'll be okay. I just wished I wasn't such a bitch to her last year. I miss the cheerful weiyun. She's so cynical now. Sigh.

Anyway, now more than ever, I want that gold. As he said 'Why work so hard to get a silver?'
Gold.
Come on zwinds, push. We can do it. You know yourself, you've heard our sound, you know it is possible. We can do it. No doubt.

ZWINDS IS LOVE <3

"In my head I keep imagining the announcer saying 'Gold' and the screams of delight and all the chaos ensuing and all the tears over what we've worked so hard to achieve. I can see our seniors crying with us, I can see the joy and pride on their faces, I can imagine going to school and telling my schoolmates about our success, and the knowing smile that we band members flash at each other when we see one another in the corridors, knowing that we are all thinking of that gold. And sometimes it's so hard to wake up and realise that all that can disappear in a blink of an eye, and that we risk losing all of that whenever we don't play to our very best, whenever we don't practice, whenever we tense up and don't listen. All of that we want is possible, but it can all be gone as easily as it can happen. It all can just disappear. And I admit, it scares the hell out of me."

SYF 2011

2011-02-17T06:36:00.000+08:00

First post of 2011 and it's already February. Awesome.

Anyway, just wanna update a little on Zwinds. Love love love <3
It's been so awesome. The Sec 4 batch is sooooo bonded. Like, we're all much more closer to each other, especailly the comm. I mean, it'll be better for the band to be eaually bonded, but hey, you gotta start from somewhere. And I think the percussion section is very bonded as well. Quite awesome, really. So yeah.

Rehearsal at SCH was quite good, no major issues. (except a particular section *ahem*) Practice yesterday could have been better. Still, not so bad. MOF is a really nice piece, but I really wanna try flyer too, because it seems like many people are making a switch from MOF to SF. I'm not sure that we can amke the switch now, but I'd love to try out flyer. The title is interesting enough for me.

Have I mentioned that I realllllyyyy want that GOLD.
yes, GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD
ZWINDS
<3

A few more days...

2010-12-30T10:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was strange, albeit in a good way. Band in the morning was utter crap, then after lunch, voila, everything was sooooo much better. I think it's because everyone got some food in their stomachs. Haha.

"A hungry man is an angry man."

80th post - BLAH

2010-12-28T22:00:00.001+08:00

HELLO GRACE YONG.
happy now? XD
anyway, life's good.
hols ending :(
oh well.

having a birthday dinner next year w/ friends. not sure who to invite, though. classmates, zwindsters (XD), or primary sch peeps. i mean, definetely, i would invite the zwindsters, but classmates... yaole + gang probably have something nasty/disgusting/embarrassing for me on my b'day anyway. oh, and maybe I'll invite yanyu too, or as my father calls her, "the girl that looks like a boy and speaks english really well". LOL. my dad's awesome. oh, he also remembers Emily, too, strangely. yet he can't remember marcus, while my mother can >_< parents.

hmm, i think i'll invite the zwindsters. my dad said i could invite all of them, but it might become kinda awkward. also, i don't think i want yaole+ jeek/simone+ zwindsters to conspire and smash a cake in my face of smth SINISTER. so yeah.

Zwinds tomorrow. Hope it all goes well. cuz the last practice went like this (in my head):

first hour- "sectionals! (: "
second hour- "okay, not too bad"
third hour- "ta-ka-tang-tang-tang! relationship! intonation! dynamics! listen! tang, te-tang-tang-tang! quick, light tonging! come on!"
fourth hour- "crap. crap. crap. kill me now!"
last ten minutes- "bullshit. loads of bullshit. OH HELL."
dismissal- "GET. ME. OUT. OF. HERE!"

so yeah.
whole day practice 2mrw, don't wanna die.
but still,
ZWINDS. IS. LOVE. <3

night~

MCR - Download 'Save Yourself'

2010-11-09T19:18:00.002+08:00

turn it up loud!

2010-09-07T09:58:00.005+08:00

T.O.P. - Turn It Up

so hot!

4Sept2010!

2010-09-04T14:56:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!
Have a great 15th Birthday! :)

Truth

2010-08-29T13:23:00.000+08:00

You know what?
I give up.
I give on Aqilah.
She doesn't want to change.
She doesn't want anyone to help her or change her.
She's not a good person and yet she whines about not having friends.
She calls others plastic, yet she herself is so fake.
I hate to say it, but gwen was right.
She's not worth it. She can go through secondary school life wasting it away. It's none of my business anymore. I won't bother her anymore.
Why I even cared in the first place, I do not know.

You think that my being so independent, so individualized, that you are a good person, not plastic. Sorry to burst your bubble but life don't work that way. You adapt to your environment, the world does not revolve around you.

Have fun being alone.

Speaking up

2010-08-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

Just read Aqilah's blog.
Her latest post is interesting. She's saying how Moira just pushes her old friends aside once she has new friends and how heartless she seems to be, as it seems like all she cares about now is her results.
I have my own opinions on this.
Personally, I used to be close to Moira, then after the June hols, we barely spoke to each other, cause she like became closer to other people, and I let her do what she wanted. I would occassionally ask her if she is having recess with me, but afterall while I just stopped cuz it was obvious she had other friends now. I kinda felt thrown aside, cuz the last time I had a best friend was like P4, and I know it sounds pathetic, but having a best friend made me happy, cuz I has someone to talk to, to confide in. She knew all this cuz I told her, but it seems she has pretty much forgotten. Yea, she may have had her own reasons to do so, but I wish she'll be a little more sensitive to other people's feelings. I don't mind her being so close to weining nowadays, cuz like I have sort of let it go. I'm fine with being the wanderer, cuz I'm okay with most people in class. Gwynz, chiaole and liting are AWESOME. Haha. But really, I kinda understand how aqilah feels. Unlike her, I did not wallow self pity and rotted away. I moved on. Having a best friend is only a small part of life. I can handle myself. I am not sure Aqilah can.

Uncle Agony, if you are reading this, well, you know.

Today was a fun day, actually.
Zwinds is love :D

questions

2010-08-24T19:19:00.000+08:00

and you ask yourself what kind of person you are.
are you happy?
do you like who you are?
are you a good person?
no.

everybody just loves to assume that i'm the bitch and nothing more.
yea, i'm bitchy.
so?
doesn't mean that's all to me.
yea, i don't really give others any other impressions.
i'm at fault too.
but it's not always me.
it's frustating.
it's so damn frustating.

i don't really want to know
what will happen tomorrow.
but i don't have a choice.
oh joy.

but this is not how i should behave.
i should be happy with what i have.
i should stop whining so much.
okay, i shall stop now.
no more complaining. does no good, anyway.

trying to smile.

Hello

2010-08-23T20:33:00.000+08:00

Today was just another ordinary day. Nothing much.
Looking forward to the CO performance tomorrow. Like seriously.
Nothing much to say... Life has been okay, I guess. As much as I love Oxyviva, it gets lonely at times. Oxyviva is still awesome:D
I just posted on the class blog so you guys might want to take a look. Go go go.

Tag replies:
Huisi: yes. Jumping in front of a train is such an interesting way to die!
Ad: er. Maybe wrong person. Go class blog and check the links (:

Currently reading Hamlet. Totally awesome.

"He is dead and gone, lady, He is dead and gone!"
Ophelia

Yesterday

2010-08-21T11:57:00.000+08:00

Today's post will be a normal one. No emo. Promise(:
Anyway, ytd was a really happy day!
Got A1 for both chem and phys (first tine this year)
Band practice was so AWESOME.
The marching band was good. Smoke on the water was freaking awesome.
Single ladies was good ( trombones! )
Went out for dinner. Had bak ku teh and pig's trotter with rice. Shared with dad. Tasted fantastic! then had red bean soup for desert. Shopped at NTUC, went home, facebook a while...
Then had a good night's sleep till 10 this morning (:
yea, days like ytd that I treasure. Searching for that feeling for so long and I finally had it ytd. Precious, days like ytd are precious.

Today's just an ordinary Saturday, but who knows what will happen? It's only noon, afterall.

Ad: yea, u might know who kiki is. Haha. Welcome to my blog. :D

bloghopping

2010-08-15T12:15:00.000+08:00

interesting, what some people say on their blogs.
yea, it's true, everyone will complain about their lives.
but some people, seriously,
PLASTIC.
they make barbie doll look like a piece of wood.

esp. that girl, kiki(changed the name, duh.)
complaining that you can't be urself.
boohoo.
you can,
it's whether you choose to or not.
complaining that you're always alone.
when you're the one pushing people away.
you really make me laugh.
unbelievable.
to think that i tried so hard, and for so long.
ha.
i was always there, i always tried to help.
you always pushed me away,
whispering behind my back.
really.
can you blame your friends and classmates
for avoiding you?
the world does not revolve around you,
it never will.
time to wake up, princess.
reality ain't pretty,
but take a good look in the mirror,
neither are you.

Suicide

2010-08-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

5 ways for an attention seeker to die.
1)Jump in front of an MRT train. Or any other train.
2)Jump onto a stage during any performance and stab yourself.
3)Chain yourself to a pole and slit your wrists.
4)Commit kamikaze in school.
5)Dress up like The Joker and jump off any tall buildings in the CBD area.

Number One is my fav.

and once again,

2010-08-06T21:37:00.000+08:00

and today we held up our heads up high
playing with guts.
but it won't last
it never does.

sooner or later, we'll fall off the cliff
and again, we have to climb back up
and then we'll fall again.
and again, and again.

and once again,

life

2010-08-03T20:24:00.001+08:00

we leaped over the hurdle.
high and proud and happy.
but we crashed into the next one.
hard.
it hurt, like hell.
the aftermath is disaster.
no spirit, no passion.
just hate and resentment.
my one of very few sources of joy in this oppressive school has crumbled to dust.
what now?
what will happen tomorrow?
will my fears become reality?

life, so empty.
studies, results, projects, tests.
no end. no love. no happiness.
just an empty bottle.

talking to jeek now.
he seems happy... i'm glad he is.
truly.
envious of him, somewhat.
talking to him lifts my dust-covered memories of primary school life.
the carefree happiness.
the freedom.
no worries about whether that person is gossiping about you
or whether your friends are genuine or not.

doesn't help that every morning, i can see the yangzheng kids out in the school's play area running about the track, playing games, skipping ropes, laughing, talking... having fun.
enjoying life.
sure, being a secondary school student is not too bad,
new friends, new oppurtunities, new experiences.
but with the singapore school system the way it is...
i do not see freedom until the end of my tertiary education.
i need a new outlet.
music, currently, the band, is just, painful.

well,
as a certain someone whould say,
"Life Sucks. Suck It Up."

the last hurdle.

2010-06-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

10th july.
what will happen?
over the hurdle or crashing straight into it?

meaning.

2010-06-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the pointless drama and politics that we lose sight of what really matters: The music.

Zwinds is not just a cca for me. It's my retreat. It's my second home. It's my passion. It's my escape.

Zwinds is so much of my secondary school life. It is a part of me. It helped me grow, helped me learn, and helped me to discover who I was.

Yea, people laugh, call me crazy, say I'm way too obssessed.
Even my own parents don't understand.

But for someone like me who walked through most of my primary school life as an ignorant and slightly rebellious kid, who screwed up her adolescence with stupid decisions, secondary school is a second chance.

Zwinds is my second chance.

A second chance for my childhood and my teenage life to have some meaning, to have some substance.
I don't want to waste my life away.

I'm just so tired.

Sometimes I wonder,
"Is it worth it?"

The answer is always "Yes."

What if one day, the answer is a "No"?

Apolycis

2010-06-01T09:51:00.001+08:00

There's this thin place behind my ear
Where time is getting heavy and as you say
"I always meant, I always meant to open up
My skin starts to tear

"Imperfect"
Stiff Kitten

oh no it's monday!

2010-05-03T15:42:00.000+08:00

I sooooo do not want to go school tomorrow. but it's litings's birthday 2mrw, that auntie xD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS TENG LITING! :D
anyway, went out just now, with gwen and aqilah.
GWEN WAS LATE AGAIN. (who's the diva now, you tell me.)
lol, but nvm de lah.
since she contributed so much to the lit stuff.
haha (:
brandon and moira are gonna make me go jogging after midyears D:
pffffff.
BOTH OF YOU WATCH OUT I WILL TORTURE YOU. ESPECIALLY YOU, BRANDON CHOO. YOU WILL DIE AND YOUR MONEY WILL FLY FROM YOUR WALLET TO MY HANDS.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.

http://psychotik-mind.deviantart.com/art/Cancer-129907915

one of my better poems (:

life so far.

2010-05-02T20:28:00.001+08:00

pfff.
life is screwing me over.
everything is SO DAMN COMPLICATED.
sometimes i wonder what would've happen if i didn't get so close.
maybe i'll be better than i am now.
well, who knows.
sigh. nevermind. we all have got to move on sometime.
it's just the question of whether you're ready or not.
sometimes you are, sometimes you are not.
sometimes you just can't bear to.that's the saddest part.

haiz~

glee

2010-04-27T21:04:00.001+08:00

and i'll be dancing with myself~

the beatles

2010-04-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

hey jude
don't make it bad
take a sad song
and make it better~

HELLO JERMAINE.

2010-04-02T20:40:00.000+08:00

haha (:
time flies.
next tues performing in front of the school.
so fast.
but my self-practice for kaze no mai went well today.
got one part that i can't previously couldnt play in tempo,
now can! (:
practice practice practice(:
anyway.
3E1 IS AWESOME, OXYVIVA FTW.
haha(:

I'M GONNA KEEP SMILING NO MATTER WHAT BECAUSE I AM A WEIRD AND CRAZILY OPTIMISTIC PERSON :D

take flight.

2010-03-18T17:35:00.000+08:00

16th december.
let us take flight.
and soar into a golden horizon.
and show that sheep what we are worth.

SARA LAU AND THE SUCCESSFUL EXPEDITION TO SEE ADAM LAMBERT!

2010-03-13T19:24:00.000+08:00

Adam Lambert!!!
he was gracious and so friendly and so cute!
he called us "a beautiful crowd"
not as beautiful as you, you HOTTIE.
he said hello to me! he waved and smiled too <3
ADAM!!!
I got his autograph! <3
he had green streaks in his hair today<3
and he told us he had chilli crab last night!
so cute <3
ADAM!!!

Sara Lau and the long wait for Adam lambert

2010-03-13T11:40:00.000+08:00

Omg waiting for Adam lambert now. Seraphyn and gwyneth are with me. Haha! ADAM!!! My butt hurts from sitting so long now. But I will wait, because I love Adam.

ADAM LAMBERT!!!!

it's called self-pity.

2010-03-09T18:45:00.000+08:00

i know one thing i am better at then others, you know.

being a giant screw-up/failure.
ha! beat that.
bet you can't fail FOUR FUCKING SUBJECTS LIKE I CAN.

fuck it all.

the funeral song.

2010-03-06T22:24:00.001+08:00

"Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again"

I'm older, and finally understand Helena.
The perfect funeral song.

"And like a blade you stain,
Well I'll be holding on
Tonight!"

just stab me, already.

2010-02-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

kill me, why don't you? you've done so much damage already.
the pain is so familiar.
because this is not the first time this happened.

the storms are brewing,
grey clouds,
the rain is coming,
more tears,
the thunder is sounding,
anger,
everything right goes wrong,
when you are near.

common tests

2010-02-22T19:09:00.001+08:00

the common tests are being flung at us.
plus got debate to prepare for.
crapppppppppp.
there's emaths and lit tomorrow.
therefore double kill.
shittttttt.
surprisingly, hist and ss weren't so bad.
english was easy.
but not enough time sia.
haizzzzzz.
okay, going to study now.
seeyaaaaaaaaa.

the number of delusional idiots that exist in this world astounds me.

CNY

2010-02-16T13:53:00.001+08:00

3rd day alreadyyyy.
sad.
but angbao collection so far has been awesoooommmmmeeee.
nice to see family and friends again, haha.
everyone kept touching boon pin's hair xD
having wilfred and family + uncle david and family + aunt irene over for dinner.
alott of people.
helping parents cook, naturually, since i am such an AWESOME daughter :D
haha.

cupid hates me. like really really likes to mess with me. he hates me.
now he's here.

just trying to mess with me.

2010-02-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

my life is so messed up/
so much dramatic irony that it can make shakespeare cry.
you know, if he were alive.
so yeah.

din tai fung is awesssooooooommmeeeee.

the 50th post,

2010-02-09T18:06:00.000+08:00

MRL:"Well, I guess all you can do for now is to continue to sit on the fence." ME:"Yeah, well, my butt is starting to hurt, MRL. The fence isn't very comfortable."

this chemistry experiment is about to go 'BOOM'.

and it's back.

2010-02-06T11:12:00.000+08:00

it was slipping my grasp
yet it returned.
and that's why i treasure days like yesterday.
laughing screaming shouting singing.
most of all,
playing.
i love days like yesterday.

so painful, so painful.

2010-02-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

oh, it hurts so much.
so frustrated, frustrated.
so sick, so sick,
the drama, and more drama.
opinions, anger, depression, more emotions.
inferiority.
oh, so tired, so painful.
i just
want to play
i just
want to love
i just
want to be happy.
oh, why, why.
music, music, music.
evading me.
joy, joy, joy,
evading me.
pain, pain, pain,
invading me.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

2010-02-02T18:43:00.000+08:00

I AM FIFTEEN!
and the oldest one in class :O
besides mr lim of course. haha.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS FOR THE STUFF YOU GAVE ME. YOU ARE ALL AWESOME.
AND MANY THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES.
ALSO TO MR LIM FOR THE CHOCS! :D

marcus tan. DIE AND ROT IN HELL, PLEASE. THANK YOU.

thanks to yanyu for remembering :D
the poem was awesome (:

to yao le, caitlin, huisi and yujun,
THANKS FOR THE CARDS!
haha :D

I HAD AN AWESOME AWESOME BIRTHDAY. THANKS ALL~
:D

paranoia

2010-01-31T10:02:00.000+08:00

All I see
Is hatred all around me
Tell me it's just paranoia
'Cause I don't know what I did
To become so hated
Now waiting, my breath bated
I need an answer
Whether it's one or the other
My dear friends, tell me so
That you have not turned into foe
And I question myself
Where did I go wrong?

FRIDAY!

2010-01-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

IT'S FRIDAYYYYYYYY.
finally sia.
anyway,
school has been quite awesome.
i have great teachers. (most, anyway. shall not elaborate.)
homework homework homework.
amaths emaths chinese history ss chem etc etc.
band has been hectic, as always.
but fun, nevertheless.
haha.
OH!
mr lim says he sometimes reads blogs. so,
HI MR CHRISTOPHER LIM.
links to my poems:
http://psychotik-mind.deviantart.com/art/Addiction-148780369
http://psychotik-mind.deviantart.com/art/Cancer-129907915
http://psychotik-mind.deviantart.com/art/My-Paradox-130314712

haha go see them if you're reading this, mr lim :D
maybe one day u'll show me ur poetry. haha :)

2010

2009-12-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

happy new year, guys!!!!~
a brand new beginning. make the best of it :D
love y'all! <3

NBC is coming up too. we will kick some ass people! :D

NOOOOOOOOOOO.

2009-12-30T20:50:00.003+08:00

RIP THE REV.

you were an amazing drummer. omg. why did you die?!

you would think that someone would kill someone useless, like vanilla ice.

but for the love of god it had to be THE REV.

anyway. alot of amazing people have died this year.

I LOVE YOU MICHAEL. YOU ARE FOREVER, THE KING OF POP.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on this side of the world, I can finally say it out. I am the Section Leader. SL. haha.

SL= sara lau+section leader. lolllls.

I am also transferring to 3rd clarinet. i am now a third. yay (:

quite nice, the parts for third. some more interesting then second clar scores.

happy new year in advance, peeps (:

emotions

2009-12-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

my story is not told
but shown
as the world
reads me
heart, sleeve and face
a mask, at times
when i feel the world
need not see me
interweaving with my thoughts
woven like a web
of many complications
in and out
up and down
here and there
swinging, swinging
happy here, sad there.
maybe angry should be woven in between.
hmm, i shall put lonliness on its own
by the left corner, why not?
it looks alone there.
my web of stories.
emotions of mine
emotions, emotions
and love broken into two at the center, shall i not?
heart.

penang!!!!!!!

2009-12-19T10:28:00.002+08:00

in the airport now! free internet rocks(:

going~

2009-12-19T07:54:00.000+08:00

HEY PEOPLE!
going off to penang soon. hehe :D
promise to buy souveneirs for you guys! ((:
see ya in 5 days!

ahhhh.

2009-12-09T17:44:00.000+08:00

oh god damn it i'm so freaking nervous/worried.
i should reeaallly get a life. maybe i can go out this friday.
who knows?
ah well.

jyjy zwinds!!!!!!
you can do it! just listen to what mr chew says!
hope to hear positive news from you guys soon :D

tomorrowww.

2009-12-03T16:00:00.001+08:00

going to swiss tomorrow. don't know what to expect. i know! i'll google 'em haha!
this is totally random sia.
oh god i think i'm falling ill. ah well.

i can't walk. damn.

2009-12-01T20:35:00.000+08:00

FREAKKK IT I CAN'T WALK.
plus, i'm sunburnt. my skin is RAD. SO SHINGZ MAN.
games day was like omgwtfzxzxzz fun. WATER BOMB. got quite a few alumni come back.very fun. also very tiring. pizza hut 4 lunch. then qms had to mop floor -.- so fun to be qm sia.
oh, i dont want that "sleep is so last night" shirt liao. cuz i saw Ian wearing it. totally throws me off.
anyway. JASMINE GREEN TEA FTW.

what i said was for your own good, before u get even more hurt by others. if you don't want to listen to me, fine. it's your loss and you will get seriously hurt. i'm senior, least u could do is show some respect.

god, it's so deja vu, except i'm in ziyi's shoes now.

AWESOME PPL WILL BUY THIS FOR ME.

2009-11-29T20:53:00.000+08:00

this is my prefered christmas gift. LIKE ISN'T IT AWESOME.

http://typetees.threadless.com/product/1493/Sleep_is_so_last_night

other gifts i would like:

1. my own clarinet

2. converse high tops.

3. a laptop

4. a new school bag.

5. for you to be my goood friend (:

1 to 3 abit hopeless, but hey, a girl can dream, right?

nah, i'm jk, i don't really want christmas gifts. i just like spending lots of time with friends. like i really be outside home then in it. sometimes it's so suffocating to be alone at home/with family all the time.

TAKE ME OUT SOON PEOPLE. BEFORE I GO STARK CRAZY. oh wait i already am.

haha. okay like totally random.

STUPID TWILIGHT SAGA.

2009-11-29T09:16:00.001+08:00

IF I SEE ONE MORE MAGAZINE COVER WITH BELLA/EDWARD/JACOB I WILL SCREAM.
stupid twilight saga.
so overrated. those girls who fall head over heels in love with jacob/edward should get a life. urgh. those idiot fan girls are soooo annoying.

on another note, ADAM LAMBERT IS SEXY HOT FABULOUS FIERCE.
his album cover is so glam rock. abit disturbing lah, but i don't mind. he kicks kris allen's butt anytime.
i support gay & lesbian relationships. BUT I AM STRAIGHT OKAY.
i support the love triangle of weiling+jeztine+glenda. haha :)

it's sundayyyy. GAMES DAY COME FASTER LEHS. I WANNA WATER BOMB THE HELL OUT OF SOMEBODY. ( you know who i'm talking about :D)

i should really do my homework. like reaaalllyy.

hey idiots! :D

2009-11-28T19:21:00.000+08:00

open house was funnn.

but seriously, it's like no one was there lor. haiz. some seniors came back to see us perform and stuff. then in the afternoon some of them helped us fill up the water bombs for games day. we also tied ribbons on to the instruments cases for hong kong. i asked ms teo whether can tie bows and she said okay :D
i like tying bows, in case you don't know. it's super fun (:
i'm tired now. and hungry. waiting for dinner :)

oh, and weiling is glenda's girlfriend ;D
jeztine fighting with her for weiling. LOLLSSS.
WEILING YOU ARE HOT PROPERTY ON THE LURVE MARKET HAHA.

going to stalk people now. haha.

damn. it. again.

2009-11-24T16:24:00.001+08:00

whoop-dee-doo. i got my phone confiscated. my phone bill doubled again. ah well. things happen. i honestly have nothing to say about it. my parents kinda expect me to say something, but what's there to say? like seriously.
open house this saturday. urgh, it's going to be soooo hot. but, i like the pieces we're playing, even if they aren't much.
i seriously seriously need to go to the library@ esplanade to borrow home some books on classical music and perhaps some scores. chopin's nocturne, opus 9, number 2, is nice, but i can't play it well... need simpler scores.
oh, if anybody needs to contact me, call 64875595.

I love mozart's oboe concerto, K.314, Movement 1. I just saw the youtube vid of carlo romano and the RAI orchestra perform it. brilliant. now, i should go search for mozart's clarinet concerto :) bye.

lonely and depressed.

2009-11-17T14:39:00.000+08:00

hah. apparently, she deleted her blog. or has a new address. i don't know. hah. what a coward. if you dare to do wrong things, you should dare to face the consequences.

on another note, my streak of bad moods is still ongoing. it's only during band when i feel happy. huh. what a shocker. (not)

off to wallow in self-pity again. bye.

dammit.

2009-11-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

I HATE MYSELF FOR GETTING GROUNDED. I MISSED WEST WINDS'S CARTOON FANTASY CONCERT. ARGHH.

on another note, i seriously hope someone puts her in her place. someone shut that mouth of hers. poison drips from her lips, every word said is like pure acid on someone's skin. but, i believe she'll get what's coming to her. karma ain't biased, unlike some people.

i've been listening to linkin park and my chemical romance again. though it might be a bad thing to do, since i feel pain and hurt and loss everytime i hear their songs. i always feel emotionally drained and empty afterwards. the feelings i had when i was in that deep, dark hole of mine, constanly depressed and emotional, during my post-sh period. maybe i should stop. hmm.

it has been an okay day overall. finished reading the five people you meet in heaven by mitch albom today. really great book. i felt very at peace after reading it. you should read it too.

clarinet workshop this friday. hope to learn something new.

gotta go now, dinner. at grandma's again :)

internet stalking is funnnn.

2009-11-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

hello. yes you, the one who's reading. it's nice to see you here. this post is specially for you. because i've been on a hiatus for too long and i decided to post today. haha.

today was fun. i enjoyed it.

ooh, watched 2012 ytd. LIKE OMG THAT'S TOTALLY THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR IT KICKS ASS MAN. you should go watch it. yes, the one who's reading. haha.

it's time for din-din now. BYE~

yes, the one who's reading. haha.

the great disappointment

2009-04-04T09:31:00.004+08:00

In my mind I'm going, "No, no, no, no, no!"
But reality tells me, "Yes, it's the truth, accept it."
It hasn't fully sunk in yet,
But it doesn't mean that I don't feel the disappointment.
Doesn't mean I don't wanna cry when the tears refuse to fall.
But over all that,
You did your best.
The SYF band did their best.
They did what they could, working off their assses,
Through anger, fear, tears and disappointments.
They gave their ALL.
And that's all that matters.

Keep on going, Zwinds.

omg omg

2009-04-02T17:53:00.004+08:00

I read a SembWinds blog today.

They got a silver.

The girl posted there "Mr Chew was right!"

What if Mr Chew is right about us too?

OMG.

You know what, don't answer that.

OMG SYF IS TOMORROW.

GOOD LUCK ANYWAY PEOPLE!!

what's more to say?

2009-03-19T08:56:00.003+08:00

when you can't do anything at all

it sucks

not even saying a word.

but, then again,

What's more to say?

bowling~

2009-03-15T09:37:00.002+08:00

bowling was fun fun fun. especially trying to murder alicia in her hoodie XD

better than ever

2009-03-12T19:56:00.007+08:00

"that that don't kill me, will only makes me stronger"

-kanye west

so as we move towards the end,

coming closer to that big day, Do your best, and get a thumbs up!

CHEERS FOR SYF ZWINDS!!

disappointment

2009-03-07T17:24:00.003+08:00

i could have done better

i should have done better

but i did not

i feel like purple today

2009-03-03T19:12:00.002+08:00

Today is purple

With the cold rain and jacket

Purple makes me smile

photo freak

2009-03-02T18:18:00.003+08:00

photo blog. better way to express how i feel.

rain, rain, come again, wash away the hurt and pain

let the tears blend with the rain.

i am not bossy! i think xP

2009-01-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

Jolyn tay and Ranice tan have issues. like seriously. yesterday during band i was like, helping out to make sure everything was going smoothly and stuff, and all of a sudden i was Ms. Bossy and O.I.C and Supervisor. Now even Cheryl (Koo) is calling me that. When we hardly even talk to each other. Then apparently Ranice walked past Slag and overheard cheryl saying i was O.I.C (Which i wasn't) and sam lee saying i was bossy or smth. he hardly talks to me anyways so i was like, what the f**ckin hell?! damn shit, i tell ya. anyways, yesterday's audition went rather okay, i was like a little stressed and nervous cuz i've never had to like, look after auditions or whatever. That was usually the QM's or Major's job. But then, i do wanna be QM, though. ah well. moving on. Today went to uncle dennis's house, and instead of watching Kungfu Hustle again like we usually do, we watched IP man. Great movie. loved it. went home around 6.15, did homework, then use com.

shit tommorow have history test(!!!)
god dammit.

self-indulged

2009-01-19T18:17:00.002+08:00

this is totally brat-ish but then again you're never 14 again :D so yea, here's my birthday wishlist:
1] Black Converse Sneakers (Ranice. Don't she rock, people? XD)
2] Any MCR CD. (Duh, obvious. I'm nuts over them, especially GEE! XD)
3] The Five People You Meet In Heaven (A book many ppl recommended)
4] Black T-Shirt (If you have seen my closet, you would know it's better not to, since 90% of it is black XD)
5] Black Watch(Cheapskate one also can XD)
6] Ameysth birthstone Necklace. (Probably to ex, but hey, i can dream, can't i?)
7] Red Packet (Only for those older than me haha.)
8] Last bu not least, treat me to lunch/dinner at yoshinoya XD

i feel like such a bitch right now. then again, i've always been bitchy. but now more than usual. lol.

1617

2009-01-18T09:28:00.001+08:00

bye bye jan 16th n 17th.

divine intervention?

2009-01-03T19:05:00.002+08:00

Hihi. had band today. nothin' much. except for what mark kon told me. shocking, honestly. he's a nice guy, but whatever happened over christmas made him seem...wierd. but still. best of luck to him. anyways, my daddy agreed to let me paint my room two colours! and i get to draw a mural or just a drawing on the wall. ha! but cant paint my room black =( when i ask is always the same answer, "you siao ah, you?" like =.= alicia's mom also had the same rection. so sad. but im gonna paint my room dark purple and another colour. it's either white or dark blue. help me decide!!!

oh, i just realised yanyu's blog is public again. but it was public like on 20th december but i dint bother to check cuz i assumed she 4got bout her blog.
ending of with this-
"2o ways the world could end suddenly."
"Is there anything you can do about it? No."
"Happy New Year!"

my god. that speaker, honestly. Morbid much?

cheers and tears

2009-01-02T15:42:00.003+08:00

back to school. today. well it coulda been better, but still loved seeing all my classmates again. ohyah, and there was this semi-broken guitar in the class. it was like black with two broken strings and a little dented here and there. but other than that ok lah. called dibs but then changed my mind cuz i'll never have time to learn guitar properly. i reached sch at like 6.15 am. not deserted like i expected. ohyah, my class on the first floor, cuz christina had leg surery. Get well soon, christina! then there was assembly, then briefing, then recess, briefing, talks blah blah blah, sch over! walked to mrt with jonas and syron.

and i hate the fact that zhixian is almost as tall as me.

but marcus is still known as short stuff XD

helena

2008-12-31T09:10:00.002+08:00

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you knew
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight!

play with the oceannn~

2008-11-21T17:47:00.002+08:00

woooo. went to east coast yesterday for the junior ZPS alumni BBQ. funfunfun. cabbed down with benny and marcus. walked a distance to the bbq pit. even though we were late, still have no one there -.- first we did was eat marshmallows XD then benny went to sort "pick up" a few friends. marcus sat down and looked after the stuff, while i kicked of my slippers and went to greet the wavessss. woo damn fun. play with ocean~ i went nuts getting my legs went thanks to the strong strong wavessss. then the 06 people came, followed by the high tea caterer. at that time, my feet were covered totally with sand, and my shorts were wet with seawater. wenjia yingzhen jiahwan shuqing all came down, and we played "catch me if you can" with the wavesss~. got wet somemore. took a break, walked to area c, then walked back. raphael and renxiang came, then shermaine's mum and the rest also arrived with a whole bunch of stuff, then samantha aja joey shuyi pearlyn reached also, followed by some other people. then a bunch of stuff happened, most of the time while i was playing with the oceannn. somewhere in the middle, axl shouted to me, but couldn't hear over the crashing of the waves, so i walked towards him and jeek those ppl. at that point simone said "axl, you saved her life!". apparently they thought i was going to walk into the ocean and drown myself -.- not emo-ing, people. then more stuff happened, dunwan to elaborate, then went home bath sleep. totally loved it.

i fell in love with east coast, i think.

losing passion?

2008-11-18T10:55:00.004+08:00

we're losing it. just slipping through our fingers. we're losing it.

well. what can i say. band the past few days have been kinda suckish. don't get me wrong, i still love it, but i ain't enjoying myself much. after the set piece came in it's like BOOM! and suddenly life stinks. i;m seriously trying as hard as i can, and i know that my section is too. trust me, if you question how passionate the Sec 1 clarinetists are your ass will probaly get kicked. but then maybe our best isn't good enough. ZPS junior alumni BBQ this thursday. Can't wait to escape and relax at East Coast.

tears to be shed, but they are not.

Disenchanted

2008-11-10T10:30:00.004+08:00

Well I was there on the day
They sold the cause for the queen,
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen.
I hate the ending myself,
But it started with an alright scene.

It was the roar of the crowd
That gave me heartache to sing.
It was a lie when they smiled
And said, "you won't feel a thing"
And as we ran from the cops
We laughed so hard it would sting
Yeah yeah, oh

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long?
(night long, night long)
Now will it matter after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

I spent my high school career
Spit on and shoved to agree
So I could watch all my heroes
Sell a car on tv
Bring out the old guillotine
We'll show 'em what we all mean.
Yeah yeah, oh

If I'm so wrong (so wrong, so wrong)
How can you listen all night long?
(night long, night long)
Now will it matter long after I'm gone?
Because you never learn a goddamned thing.
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

So go, go away, just go, run away.
But where did you run to?
And where did you hide?
Go find another way, price you pay
Woah, Woah, Woah,
Woah, Woah, Woah

You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya, come on
You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya

At all, at all, at all, at all

den lille havfrue døde af et ødelagt hjerte

es-ple-NAD

2008-11-09T18:56:00.003+08:00

Hello people. Went to the Es-ple-NAAD today. Met up with Ranice and Marlene at Serangoon MRT at 12.50. Saw Ziyi and Melanie there. They were like, wearing loads of eye make-up. But they did look good. Anyway, travelled to City Hall, and went to Raffles City to buy some Macarons. Like, 1 for $2.45, but who's complaining, good quality French pastry in Singapore is hard to find. I only bought one, the rasberry one. It was a tad to sweet, but it still tasted good. Ranice freaking bought 4, and she let me try the hazelnut one, which tasted fabulous. I should've bought that one. Walked to the Esplanade, saw SLAG there. Queued behind them, (which technically is cutting queue but not like anyone gave us dirty looks or anything), waited for a while, bag checks, etc. As we queued, more people came, along with uchan and minghao that group, huiqin, jeztine, and gladys, and some others. Then, we went in, and saw the trombone section sitting 2/3 rows in front of us. Chenqi's outfit would look great on some tall, ark and handsome european male model, but honestly, not on him. I was laughing when i saw him. Shannen looked taller(if possible) than usual in her jeans. The concert started like half hour later, and i loved it, although me and ranice both agreed that there was this cornet player who sounded very fwah-ish, but besides that, it was great. Especially the encore. They played Selections From HSM 1! I made huiqin promise to send me the recording XD The Incredibles and the Indiana Jones theme songs were like damn nice. Loved the whole performance. Mr Tan was playing the saxophone. The japanese conducter was funny. haha. I wanna go see again.

french pastry~!

strumhollow

2008-11-06T13:22:00.004+08:00

The french horn replica is like uber nice lah. I WANT THE MINI CLARINET!

www.strumhollow.com

i love that website lah. the music related items are damn nice.

CELEBRATE!!!

2008-11-05T20:22:00.004+08:00

OBAMA WON OBAMA WON OBAMA WON!!!!!!
AMERICA DID THE RIGHT THING FOR ONCE IN EIGHT YEARS!!!
SUCKS TO YOU, DAMN REPUBLICANS!!!
OBAMA WON!

YES WE CAN!

1000 oceans

2008-11-03T15:00:00.002+08:00

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RANICE TAN!!
keep being the crazy girl you are XD!
next.
I would've posted yesterday if I weren't so tired. I woke up at 6.30 for no reason(i hate myself for that. damn internal clock.) Then, at around 8.45, i went down to sunshine park, just in time to see the band play. Some of them were quite shocked/surprised to see me. Watched the performance with cheryl hay. They sounded quite good. During their break, Shannen, Alphonsus and I went around the park playing the games. It was damn fun lah, we were hogging the shoot the target game, i kept shooting over the target, and alphonsus kept saying "shannen, aim for the high one!", but all of us never even hit the targrt lols. Just before the senior minister arrived, i said goodbye and left. I saw goh chok tong arrive, but he walked quite fast, so the band didn't play jubilant fanfare, just stand in attention. After that rushed home to bathe, change into uniform and go to school. Apparently Ranice went to Sunshine Park just after i left, to pass our section some bottled water. She also wanted to pass kelly soo the baking soda(to get rid of the rotor oil "zwinds" stained on the floor), but she couldn't. She then ran all the way back to zhonghua, (she called me when she reached, panting like hell), and 10 minutes later i reached the school gate. Both gates were locked, and since i ran a distance to get to school, we were both high on adrenaline and were screaming into the school. Grace was like standing at one corner, looking very bo chap lah. Then, clique 5 people arrived, then some other people. The teacher came, and we got our tshirts, rushed over opposite to change, then boarded the bus. Once we got to Marina Barrage, had briefing, then took our tour groups. I waited until this whole group of malays came, and literally ran forward to them, cuz i didn't want to speak chinese(the other groups were all elderly chinese people). They were really friendly, and the first thing they did once they got to the first few exibits was to find a semi-secluded corner, sit down and eat lunch. I haven't had my lunch, so i just stayed nearby, not wanting to look at the food. but still, they gave me some bread, crackers and some delicious butter cookies, and some sweetes. They were such a great group!! after the tour, we went back to the meeting point to collect some goodie bags. We had to wait ten minutes for the new batch of goodie bags to come in. Rosali(the group leader) and his helpers took the bags, said goodbye and left. I had my "lunch" then, at 3.20. ranice knocked over my first plate with her crumpler, and i had to get a second one, all the while with daryl saying "wah, what a pig lah, eat 2 servings!" -.- stupid he ate my food also. anyways, then alicia came back and told us what a horrible group she had, and she said she envied me and like wanted to strangle me( she did, actually lols). went home, took marcus car back with elson and syron. Mrs. Tan kept inviting us to lunch while marcus was at the back of the car mouthing reapeatedly "no, no!" and waving his arms lika a madman XD
very fun day overall.

1000 oceans dark years when time has died~
I CAUGHT TOKIO HOTEL MANIA FROM SHANNEN~
1000 OCEANS!

politics;4days

2008-11-01T20:21:00.000+08:00

wow. time flies. only 4 days to the U.S. elections. If Obama doesn't win, the world is dead. D-E-A-D. like, seriously. Alicia and me were like talking about the elections these pass two days. we all hope mccain would just jump off the Manhattan Bridge(actually, that's my wish. alicia wants him to die crying -.-) But then, Obama will win for sure. He needs only another 22 electoral votes to win, but mccain needs over a hundred. It's so obvious Obama has got the white house. Goodbye you damn republicans!

i hate sarah palin majorly man. she's so stupid. when she was asked about her experience in foreign policy, she said she could see russia from her house. dumb big-haired bimbo.

diediediedieDIEimsobored

2008-10-30T15:06:00.000+08:00

Life has been seriously mundane nowadays, so i'm gonna post a video.

i like tokio hotel, but i love tom and bill!!!
shannen lurves tokio hotel too!
TOKIO HOTEL MANIA!

euthanasia

2008-10-26T11:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, during band, mr chew brought up the subject of a "moving target", which is to say that your objectives or aim keep changing when the rest of the world (mainly the media) change theirs. He was referring to the fact that when the other bands(bet u he meant the japs) change their way of playing, we changed ours to. Then, he brought up the subject of sex b4 marriage, literately with the words "screwing around", how we don't take our virginity seriously anymore, then when other ppl started "screwing around", so did the rest of the world. then, somehow, euthanasia came up. mercy-killing. It was discussed in today's straits time. when mr chew mentioned it yesterday, it really got me thinking, about what i do not even know. but i just kept thinking about it, and then thinking about my life, and what i've been doing. slacking in my studies, skipping class, going around acting like im the boss. it just really got me thinking what the hell i've been doing. i remembered, one of my friends from zps once told me, "you know, when i first met you, you seemed like a daddy's girl; polite, friendly, good in your studies, but still have good friends, and you get along well with the guys. but now, after you entered zhss, you've changed so much." i was tempted to ask, "for better or worse?" but i guessed i already knew the answer.

i bet whoever's reading this blog does to.

contrition; now i truly know what is it.

oops

2008-10-24T13:21:00.000+08:00

yikes. report books came back yesterday. my parents were ok with the results. altogether did slightly better than EOYs. dun feel like typing my results leh. not like anyone reads my blog lols. anyways, yesterday aft school played badminton with the usual plus huisi, puaysuan, yujun and alphonsus. b4 that went to macs for brunch. wah lau ranice and marc kept spitting their milo into marcus's leftover hotcakes. damn funny and disgusting lah. alicia took a video and showed it to the others and we were laughing the whole way through. after that, we left at 11 plus, waited for the other people who booked the court first to play. meanwhile, alphonsus marcus and i played outside. Ivan walked pass, and alphonsus persuaded him to play with us for a while. after he left we went to play until 2. we kept buying the carbonated apple juice, then blowing into the glassbottles to make high and low sounds. that sounded wrong lols. me and ranice brought home the bottles, for dunno what reason lols. then rest, dinner, blah blah blah, sleep, woke up at 5.30 cuz 4got to switch off alarm -.- then tuition at 11, and now im here lols.

i wanna eat penne pasta with chicken carbonara. like, seriously.

woots!!!!

2008-10-21T18:59:00.000+08:00

NO STREAMING NO STREAMING NO STREAMING!!!
THANKS SO MUCH EDWARD AND JASON AND DIANXIANG FOR HELPING OUT YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!
NO STREAMING!!!
1E2 2008 N 2E2 2009!!
CLASS TSHIRTS SOON PEOPLE!

1E2 ROCKS YOUR SEXY SOCKS!!

moreandevenmoreEVENTS

2008-10-20T20:01:00.000+08:00

okay. We finally handed in the letter to mrs. dolly ong. Actually, to the office staff who then handed it in to the principal. plus the petition. after so long(only three days actually lols) we finally finished the letter. thanks to edward, jason and dian xiang who helped so much. i seriously hope we dont stream. I WANNA STAY IN E2! Like seriously. ooh, today beach cleaning was fun. our group found a freakin' condom under a tree! we pretended to throw away then kept it XD. After that had dialect lesson, which was ok. alicia is really fluent in cantonese. She's been learning since she was seven! she taught how to say fck u in cantonese man! lols! after that went to play badminton with like ten people. freakin' fun man. even zhenling and weiling play with us. almost forgot to take house keys from the court. yikes. im freakin' tired and wanna sleep man.

please let the letter go through GOD!!!IM BEGGIN' HERE!!!!!!

SUPER HAPPY!!!!!!!

2008-10-14T16:58:00.000+08:00

Today. Totally. Rocked!!
Surprisingly, today we got back our EOYs results.(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I expected to do damn damn badly. but i passed all subjects! which is a miracale for me!
My marks: English-b3 (switch grade with lit frm last time lols)
Chinese-without oral b4(!!!)
maths- c6 (what a relief!)
science-c5
literature-A1!!(79!!!)uber happy now!!!
history-A2
i am so freaking happy so are my parents i am totally over the moon! and i also beat jonas and marcus in 4 subjects! (marcus now really depressed cuz i beat him in chinese 2 marks -.-) i am super super super super super happy!!!!!!!! yay!!! and since i didnt fail 3 subjects like last time, my parents are gonna reward me!!!! i want a new handphone! im super super super happy!

again. and again. and again. and here i am!

2008-10-13T14:47:00.000+08:00

the title says it all. i have another blog. again.
but this time it's more private since no one reads about my mundane life anyway(except huiqin lahhs.)
so. today was slightly more exciting then usual.
as in someone *ahem* called to inform me of smth important.
ok, apparently minru and patricia(my juniors frm zps) have been using ziyi's picture for their blogs, sayin it's PATRICIA, which is not of course, it's ZIYI.
i was appalled. like really shocked. guess what, kelly used to be frm zps. and she was also taught by mrs wendy ng. my favourite teacher. my ex-form teacher. i didn't think that my two sorta seperate worlds(you know, one in zhss, the other with my zps pals) would actually meet. in such a drastic way cuz ziyi is now swearing at two 12-years-old and they're swearing back. on their blogs, i mean. tagging and such. that is definetely not good.

on to less unpleasant things. oh wait, there aren't -.-
life is boring without school!!!!
i cant believe i'm sayin this, but i wanna go back to school. badly.